Just as I have finally figured out (on most days) how to get my younger children to do their jobs and finish what is asked, I now have a teenager and I really didn't know how to motivate him without "begging" him to get the work done. It drives me crazy because I don't think I should have to beg and I really don't like to treat the older ones like they are babies. One of the main objectives of raising children is to teach them to be accountable for themselves, that they must be responsible not just submissive. They need to be able to go into the world and do what needs to be done without mom reminding them or begging them. That is our mission. So, I contemplate how to light the fire. How to have them do the basics in the morning without me reminding and without grounding which I don't really like at all. I don't believe in weekly allowances for doing basic jobs because I think they do basic jobs because they are part of a family. If they need to earn money, I can provide extra work. So, here was my idea after several mornings of unmade beds and untidy rooms. My older children get weekly money for lunch at Jr. and High Schools. They are responsible for allocating the money per day so they will have enough for each weekday and if they budget wisely, they will have a little left. Conversely, if they hit the spirit store too often, no lunch money come Friday. I think it is a great lesson in budgeting. So, here was the deal. If they leave the house without beds made and room tidied up, I deduct $2 from the next weeks lunch money. I don't remind them, I don't get angry or bug them after school. I go make the bed. I get to keep $2 from the next week. I can handle $2 to make a bed. Heck, I have been doing it for free for years. However, I didn't make much so far because it only took one day to get the message across. I am still surprised every morning to see such a clean room without me reminding them. Isn't amazing how they can remember things when they don't get fed! Hmmmmmm, why didn't I think of this earlier!
6 comments:
what a great idea! I still can't figure out how to motivate my 8 year olds and 4 year old. I feel like I'm a broken record.
Great ideas! I actually am printing this off and puting it in a file to save for future use. I already have the "post it" note one filed! Sounds a bit stalkerish but I have to keep all this great blog info somewhere. Thanks Shari.
Great idea with the $$. I will have to try that with my oldest. For my younger kids, I found a program called "Miracle Music", you can google it. It is basically a cd that uses music and another woman's voice taking them through their morning and evening schedule. I put it in a central location in my home so all can hear and let it play -- it has a point system and a reward system. The best part, I don't have to remind them, if they don't follow the cd, they don't get the points and they don't get the reward. I have used it for 3 years now and it works great. And it uses music and is fun, so the kids have no idea that they are working. My older son who is 12, just this year asked if he could do something different, but my 4 and 8 year old love it still. Just a thought.
I just found your blog and I'm so excited to use your advice and try and plant something in this Arizona heat. I am also anxious to try the bed making technique. ;) Glad I found ya.
Your 'begging my teen' to do anything really made me smile - it truly is the only way to get them to do anythning....hmmmm bribery works sometimes too I guess.
Your 'begging my teen' to do anything really made me smile - it truly is the only way to get them to do anythning....hmmmm bribery works sometimes too I guess.
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