Sunday, February 3, 2008

In Bed for Back Rubs


I don't know about you, but 8:00 pm is bewitching time at my house. This is the time of day that I no longer want to be a mother and need everyone to go to bed so I will still like them. However, they seem to feed off this and work very hard to make bedtime a ritual of not obeying, hurting each other and waiting until mom starts to elevate the voice (pleasant way of saying "screaming). I am tired of this ritual and am quite tired of not being heard until I get mad, so here is a little game that has changed all of that - My friend Tracy was telling me one day how she started to give her son back rubs at night to bond with him better and to help him calm down. She told me how much this helped both of their relationships. I thought that was a perfect idea for one of my boys that desperately craves my attention. We all need to be touched and nurtured, especially by our mothers and it seems that it is so hard sometimes to just find the time to spend with each of them. I decided to give this a try. Of course, he loved it and the other little ones wanted one too. I decided to make a game out of it, If they were in bed by 8pm on the dot, they would get a back rub. If I didn't have to ask them and they were in bed, they would get a back rub with lotion. I didn't know how long this game would work, but it has now been one month and it is golden. I don't have to get mad at them every night and they can't wait for bedtime to get their alone time with mom. I love it too, to just be with them one on one. My older ones don't play this game but the little guys think it is the best game ever. Little do they know how this simple back rub has transformed my evening ritual from one that I dread to one that I look forward to.

8 comments:

THE SWITZERS said...

What a great idea. I think I will try this in our home. How long do your backrubs last?

Shari Goodman said...

Back rubs are pretty quick, under 5 minutes.

nlindley said...

I'm exactly the same way at night time! I will definitely give this a try...thanks!

amy said...

Is this my old friend Shari Lee? Wassup? I'm looking forward to getting caught up on your life.

Melissa said...

I was just going to post on the Bedtime Routine, the back rub is a great idea. My kids love me to come into their rooms each night and this gives me something new to try...thanks. I love getting caught up with your life.

Cherstin said...

Isn't great that the kids look forward to it so much that they forget they're going to bed? I think it's funny how your older ones don't play this game. It just goes to show how quickly they grow out of needing mom time. I'm trying this because i need one on one time.I'm also passing this on to my spouses group. they are the spouses in my husbands squadron. One of the things that is talked about a lot is bed time being one of the most stressful times of the day when your doing it alone after a husband has deployed. I can see this being a huge hit. Thanks!!!

Melissa said...

What a cute idea.

Becky said...

I need to try something along these lines.

Currently bedtime is one of my least favorite times of the day. We have misaligned goals = the kids all what to stay up and I want nothing more than for them to go to bed.

I've tried the stick approach (some form of punishment -- like a monetary penalty or an extra chore) but maybe the carrot would be more effective.

Richard (on Becky's computer)